YMCA

The Deal is NEVER closed.

For Men only-a guide to the inner lives of women

Same premise: 1000 women interviewed

Why her “I do” will always mean “Do you?”  and what to do about it


Even if your relationship is great, your mate likely has a fundamental insecurity about your love-and when that insecurity is triggered, she may respond in ways that confuse or dismay you until she feels reassured that you love her.

•	You’ll see those drive you nuts behaviors as red warning lights signaling a breach in your wife’s confidence about whether you really love her.

Surprise One:  How frequent these feelings are

•	You know that record that’s always running in a guy’s head about providing? Well, we have the same fundamental concern about our relationship all the time.

Surprise Two:  How intensively painful these feelings are

It becomes difficult, if not impossible, for them to get it off their minds.  “When we are at odds, nothing is right with the world until it is resolved.”

Surprise Three:  How resistant to logic her feelings remain

Even women in good relationships feel that they could be just a few bad blowups away from losing their man’s love

What sets these insecurity tremors off:

Conflict  (how I feel like when my husband is displeased with me)
Withdrawal  (which is how men respond to conflict)
Silence (Women jump to conclusions when their man is withdrawn or quiet more than usual)
Her emotional bank account is depleted  (May have nothing to do with you-she’s exhausted, children have been taxing)
You are absent a lot (even if you hate the obligations that keep you away)
Unresolved relationship issues (most guys miss this one entirely) 


Next class:  How to turn off that red warning light-practical steps