Follow up to last week’s lesson (Ephesians 5:  25-27)   Husbands love your wives another just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through he word and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless” 

We talked about loving your spouse sacrificially.  Build them up to use the gifts that God gave them.  Be their cheerleader, their biggest supporter.  We discussed that life tends to pull people down.  It isn’t fair.  People aren’t always supportive.  You are your spouse’s God, providing unconditional love and support on earth.  

They need to know:

I got your back
I believe in you
I want you to be all that you can be
I want you to use all that God gave you

How can we do this?  First of all, we need to know our spouses.  What makes them tick?  What are their passions?  What are their dreams?  

How?  Talk, listen, date nights, turn off the TV and talk, write or email



OK, that leads us into this week’s lesson:   Think WIN WIN
1 Corithinans 13: 4-13
“Love is patient, love is kind,……


Those of you that have not seen the bank account idea and maybe are visual….here goes:

Between everyone there is an emotional bank account.
It is an imaginary bank where we make deposits and withdrawals.
Some are smaller or bigger than others.

Example:  

Married 28 years and a great marriage…bank account pretty full?

Had to have many more deposits than withdrawals over the years

 Barb decides she wants to go back to college.  

I encourage her, tell her she can do it, buy her books and pay for the class and am proud of her when she gets an A (one of only 7 in the class I might say)….deposit or withdrawal?

I know that she loves plants and buy her an in house planter for her birthday?   Deposit or withdrawal?

28 years…many deposits both ways.





Strength of the marriage is proportionally tied to the size of the emotional bank account.

Women need Love and Security….Men need Respect and Self Worth

At first in your marriage, you will have to make conscious decisions to make deposits.  You will have to look at your spouse, study them, invest in their passions and goals.  The deposits will start.  Later, you won’t even have to think anymore….it will be natural…you will make deposits many times without even thinking about it.   It’s the same way our faith grows in God.