December 6, 2009

The Magic of Traditions in a Marriage and Family

True magic can be felt through love and communication

Where does it come from?

Let’s read Genesis 9:  12-17

The rainbow represents a covenant with God.  Everytime we see one it is sort of magical to me.  It is like a tradition.  I saw them as a youngster and 50 years later I still see them  
When I do, a smile and warmth comes over me.

Let’s talk about other traditions and the importance of them in our marriages and families.

What were some of your favorite traditions growing up as a kid or even now as a husband, spouse, parent?

Let class share

What is a tradition?

It is an anticipated and remembered event…they usually inspire loyalty and unity…they bring couples and families together and they enhance communication and build responsibility.

There are big ones:  Christmas/Easter?
Crazy ones:  Maybe something started with birthdays and has carried on?
Little ones:  Household habits/patterns that make you and your family feel like home.

Our house:

Signs and notes when we leave and come back
Weekends:  I run the dog and read the paper in my Uncle Lou chair
Date night:  Mexican and talk
Driving to the airport:  mucho talk
Barb’s brownies=love
Barb cooking dinner while watching the news at very high sound level
Wheel of Fortune after dinner while cleaning up
Glen’s whistle

In a world less predictable, society less and less dependable-traditions make our marriages and houses a safe harbor in the storm.
They are places where we can return if only in our mind no matter how far we or they roam….example:  My Mom would change our house around abut twice a year…Hawaiian Cottage for my birthday…Parents are gone…but memories remain.

Marriages-some traditions can strengthen relationships

1.  Best thing is for a child to see a Father love his Mother.   (I think the signs in my family helped and don’t be afraid to kiss or hug in front of them)

Saturday mornings in the Cavallo household:

2.  Couples can have short conversations to coordinate schedules for the day or week and to talk about individual or common goals.  (Saturday am for us)

3.  Use these times to also express feelings:  “I feel----” 
One person talks while the other listens
(These settings are less awkward to talk about positive feelings-great time to express love and appreciation and to compliment your spouse).

4.  In an atmosphere of love and trust, express anything that bothers you or is on your mind or feels unresolved.

Date night:

5.  Used to improve communication, preserve excitement and romance.
Be together and talk

The same kinds of things that helped you fall in love can help you stay in love.  Courtship doesn’t have to end at marriage

6.  Family Date Night:   Pick least committed night with outside activities.  Turn phones off.  Designate it as family night.  

Cavallo household:

Watched Urkel, Step by step etc on Friday nights. All of us in pajamas…eating popcorn, falling asleep all over each other.

Communication will happen naturally on family night.

Don’t say “Okay it’s family night let’s talk….or tell me what’s on your mind”….

The goal:  Have fun and be together…communication will just happen.

Summary:

The magic of traditions…..they become a permanent piece of our hearts and minds.  When things get tough in life, we all needs these to fall back on for warmth and love.  God started it with the first rainbow and thousands of years later, people see a rainbow and pull off the side of the road, take pictures and smile.  

Please take the time to start one with your spouse if you haven‘t already.  Start with a weekly talk (like our Saturday one)…and watch the magic of better communication, love and support develop from there.